Contagions - Managing Anxiety

Several years ago, there was a children's song called "Input Output" that attempted to teach children (and parents) the importance of the stimuli they allow into their world. I was recently reminded of this song when I read research from the University of Rochester finding that motivation, creativity, openness, and exploration can be contagious.

In the experiment, participants were assigned a project to work on and randomly paired with either a highly motivated individual or a low-motivated individual. Those placed with the low-motivated individual experienced dwindling participation and lower performance. What I found most interesting, however, was that neither group could identify the influence their partner had on them. This means that, without any conscious awareness, their motivation and creativity were being shaped by the "energy" of a random person in their environment.

The Unconscious Mimic

Our brains are hard-wired to mimic others, whether through direct contact, watching videos, reading books, or listening to music. This is why it is so vital to eliminate or limit our exposure to toxic stimuli. Even when we aren't consciously aware of it, the people we interact with influence our emotions, attitudes, and behaviors.

Most of us recognize the obvious contagions: how a certain song makes us feel sad, how a horror movie evokes anxiety, or how a simple smile can be infectious. You might even avoid "dark" music or scary movies because you know they affect you. But how do you steer clear of the environmental contagions that affect you on a sub-conscious level?

Living with Intention

In our book, Love With Intention, we discuss the importance of applying intention to your relationships. We describe intention as a moment-to-moment awareness, making conscious choices based on that awareness. To tune into these unconscious influences, you have to start listening to your body.

Your body acts like an unconscious radar. If you pay attention to its physical signals, you can become aware of the negative influences in your life before they take root:

• Do you become fidgety or restless around an anxious co-worker?

  
  

• Do you get that sinking "pit" in your gut when you think about visiting a specific relative?

  
  

• Do you feel your facial muscles tighten when listening to music about resentment or anger?

  
  

Protecting Your Emotional Health

These physical cues are signs of your awareness of toxic stimuli. In some cases, the fix is simple: make different music choices or turn off the news. Other times, when the contagion is a loved one, you may need to set brave boundaries on your time or learn new strategies for coping.

Setting these limits isn't always easy, if it were, you would have done it already. Sometimes, seeking professional help is the best way to develop healthy coping strategies and protect your peace. In the long run, when you remain mindful and make conscious choices about what you allow "in," you’ll find much greater fulfillment and joy in your life.

by Trish Carter, LIMHP, LCPC, BCN